Insults That Have Class....

A dear friend of mine sent me an email sometime yesterday. She always sends me good stuff to read about. This happens to be one of them. Brilliant wits, check them out:-

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you willeither die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir", said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."

-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

- Stephen Bishop

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."

- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."

- Jack E. Leonard